I've been thinking about something lately and need some help with resolving it. It's probably only a conundrum because of irrational belief systems that still interfere with my logical thought processes, but whatever. They are there, and I need some other minds working on this.
The big question I've been leading up to is: should I attempt to collect Social Security for disability? As in crazy? I suspect a lot of people do this. I met one homeless guy two days ago who is about my age and collects, and I doubt he's crazy, though substance abuse makes him appear to be sometimes.
Here's my justification. I can't work a fulltime job: my tolerance for the stress of work life has dropped to near-zero. Even if I could get a 120K/year job again, unlikely after being out of the industry for 2 years, there's no way in hell I could keep it. I still have flashbacks about the mistakes I made towards the end of my last job, which I overstayed far too long. I'm sure I could get a doctor to sign off on it. Hell, I was being prescribed Anafranil way back in the early/mid 90s.
Plus, I paid plenty of money into Social Security, and I might as well start getting some of it back. Oh, I know they explain it as a "contract between generations" but that's such a laughable load of shit. And there's no guarantee I'll live to 65 or whatever it is to retire.
But there's something inside me that says it's wrong. That I could maybe get and hold a job if I'd just put my mind to it. That in any case I can make a little money, enough to get by, online, at sites like rentacoder.com.
But no, another voice says. Someone in your family could use the money even if you don't need it. She needs medication for high blood pressure and that's not cheap.
But my Republican background shies away from anything resembling welfare. And though Social Security isn't welfare, collecting it before retirement age is somehow a sin against society. Instead of a contributor, I would be a taker, a recipient, a burden to others.
There's also my fear that if I collect, I will stop trying to learn how to live off the land. Take the easy route. Go back to familiar routines and unhealthy lifestyles.
Finally, it fails my "Bill Gates" test. Not in all respects; Bill could get paid disability by the Social Security Administration the same as I or any other taxpayer could. But he wouldn't; I don't think his pride would let him, even if he needed the money (not bloody likely). I could be wrong on that. But that's enough to sort out anyway, as it is. Help, anyone?
last updated 2013-01-10 20:19:10. served from tektonic.jcomeau.com